Who Am I?

I have found that my walk with God is a cycle of breakthroughs.  This means that there is undoubtedly struggles involved along the way.  We experience our "highs" and "lows" throughout this unending cycle.  The breaking point is what creates what we Christians call a "breakthrough."  It is that very moment in time that something shifts and after hours, days, weeks, months, and sometimes even years that specific thing we were fighting for FINALLY resolves.  It is truly such an amazing feeling and is something that we should definitely never cease to contend for.  

All this to say, there are times in our lives that we just "hit a wall."  When this happens, what do we do?  How do we handle it?  Where do we go from there?  How, when standing before a wall, do you walk through it?  How do you knock it down, IF it is even meant to be demolished?  Walking around it almost seems foolish and cowardly.  So...what do we do?

All I can think of is to WAIT and PRAY that one morning when you wake up and open your eyes, it is just gone- disappeared.  How?  I do not know how, but I DO know that God LOVES making the impossible possible.  

We, as humans, can walk around a wall, we can scale walls, we can blast a hole in them and walk through them, and we can even break them apart and walk across the rubble, but one thing we CANNOT do is make a huge, thick, durable, heavy, strong wall disappear into thin air where the breaths that we FREELY draw are just memories/testimonies of what once was holding us back and now becomes our source of life shaping who we are today and what/who we can become tomorrow.  

Throughout cycles/processes like these, I have periodically had to ask myself one question:  Who Am I?  It seems simple, but it is not.  These three words challenge my character and cause me to give account of how much like Christ I am.  At each moment I seem to learn something else about myself that I did not know before.  

So, who am I?  I am a child of God that is scared to death of fully trusting her father (God).  Who am I?  I am a daughter of the King that doubts more than she believes- around every corner.  Who am I?  I am Jesus' beloved whom has yet to discover her true identity apart from her struggles.  The list can go on and on. 

After learning all these things, what now am I left with?  How can I possibly consider myself to be "Christ-like" to any degree.  Honestly, I cannot answer that question and I do not think I will ever be able to.  God transcends our carnal minds, while the fact remains- we are being transformed glory to glory. 

Where does our focus lie?  Is it on the positives or on the negatives?  I have learned that it cannot be on either of the two.  It must remain on God.  If we focus on the positive- pride follows; on the negative- condemnation; but on God- righteous perspective of who we are and how we see the world.  So, back to those three words; the question that can potentially define creation... WHO AM I?

I am a warrior, a conqueror, a child of God dearly loved by Him, a threat to the enemy- I am a Christian.  I am a "little Christ" (literal translation of "Christian") able to live the very heartbeat of Jesus each day while heaven is behind me cheering me on.  I am a person that can stand in front of a wall, speak the breath of God, then close my eyes only to open them to find a void of the wall that once was and will never be again.  Who am I?  I am an average person that, when gets pissed off enough, can make things disappear with some help from her Dad.