Lullaby Of Life

Your alarm goes off and you roll over and hit snooze.  Your alarm goes off again and you do the same thing.  As your alarm sounds for the third time you decide at that moment that it may be time to lift your heavy head, drop your feet to the floor and make your way to the shower.  By the time the warm water nearly puts you to sleep yet again, you realize that if you keep on at this pace you will most definitely be late for work.  So…you rush this process, you arrive at work on time (by the grace of God) and you begin your day. 

Somewhere between that whole ordeal and laying your head down on your ever so inviting pillow at night at the end of a long day, I am fully convinced as a Christian, there is a mysterious melody that plays on a 24/7 loop called the “Lullaby of Life.”  I don’t really know if we even have the ability to hear this song unless it’s disguised as that dreaded alarm clock in the morning, an angry manager or complaining coworker during the day, the sound of traffic as you drive home in the evening, or the dull moan of the television as you sit down after dinner to unwind at night. 

What happens in this song?  What are the lyrics?  Who wrote it?  But most importantly… How in the world is this song SO powerful that it continues to lull Christians to sleep generation after generation causing them to compromise their convictions, justify their behaviour, and become content and comfortable with where they stand in life?

Life’s dramas and distractions play a vital role in such a song.  We get so hung up on such petty things that crave our full attention throughout a day and subtly beg us to kick back and relax.  Before we know it, our minds drift away from the very substance of life and purpose is ever waning.  Each poisonous note that is played through this lullaby slowly ushers in a cloud overhead that can cause us to become somewhat dull and numb to all things Godly.  Who wants this way of life?  Nobody.  Who asked for this to be played?  No one.    

This devious melody is unstoppable.  It starts when you wake up, it plays throughout the day and I’m guessing it ends when you fall asleep.  It’s the very breath of the enemy; it’s his song to us in hopes that we may become distracted, unmotivated, careless and worst of all…stagnant.  Although this is the case, as Christians we must not forget that we have a choice to listen.   How have we for so many years allowed the busyness of everyday life to stifle the passion, the fire, and the zeal that is required to truly live as a Christian?  It’s imperative we remember that God has given us everything in order to fight such daily battles. 

Oswald Chambers in his book “My Utmost For His Highest” said, “What hinders me from hearing is that I am taking up with other things.  It’s not that I will not hear God, but I am not devoted in the right place.”  Where does your devotion lie?  As Christians we must put first things first and fight against the temptation to reprioritize according to our own comfort and deny God one thing that He is most worthy of…complete reign in our lives.  Our destinies are on the line, which is why we need to stay on guard and alert.  We cannot afford to be lulled to sleep by this lullaby of life and pass up countless opportunities to advance the kingdom, however that may look. Wake up ready for war, but don’t forget to have fun as you write your own song each God-given day!   

Wrestling With God

"Sometimes in the dark of our night seasons, we don't know with whom we are struggling until the light begins to dawn (Beth Moore)."

Many of us have heard the story in Genesis (32) about Jacob wresting with God.  I have often times questioned why in the world someone would do such a thing.  It seems as if it is always going to be a losing battle, right?  Why, knowing how powerful God is, would a person put themselves “in the ring” with the strongest man in the universe?  Is it our arrogance?  Is it simply being naïve?  Or maybe, just maybe, the clever act of challenging the greatest thing of all, God, would be the very thing, and the only thing, that would cause you to rise to greatness and overcome the unknown that you were wrestling with…

I’ve come to the revelation that the phrase “wrestling with God” is no longer a negative one.  In fact, I truly believe that I would have more respect for a person that is bloody and bruised after wrestling with God for a night than I would for a person that said ‘yes’ for 10 solid years without a single question in their mind.  Why?  I believe it shows passion, hunger, and determination to arise to the next level in that particular season of life.  'Wrestling’ does not mean ‘disagreeing’.  To me, it’s the action of asking ‘why?’ and really trying to understand the lesson that God is trying to teach you.  It opens your heart and your mind to fully comprehend it. 

Wrestling with God is opportunity.  It allows us to come up close and get personal with our Saviour.  It’s hands-on.  Our hands get dirty and our bodies get worn.  We feel it, there IS pain, and it doesn’t always feel good, but there’s one thing for sure… it makes every breath we draw sweeter, every sunrise brighter, and every laugh that much more enjoyable.  Why?  It does this because we must fall to wrestle and God is love; therefore, wrestling with God is falling in love.

So what about Jacob?  He was wrestling with this Man and was determined to get a blessing out of Him.  The Man asked to be freed; yet Jacob wouldn’t release Him until he was blessed.  In the midst of all this, the Man dislocated Jacob’s hip.  After finding out Jacob’s name, this Man ended up renaming him ‘Israel’ because he struggled with God and man and had prevailed. 

The next thing Jacob said intrigued me.  He says, “Tell me your name!” and the Man replies, “Why do you ask My name?”  At this point, nearing sunrise, after hours upon hours of wrestling, why would Jacob still be unsure of WHO exactly this Man was?  My speculation on why Jacob felt the need to ask this Man His name was because he had a very good idea of who He was, but had no concrete evidence.  He wanted a black and white answer, but did not get it.  This, I believe, is where our faith comes in.  Time and time again God will move yet He leaves just a little unknown, a little darkness like in this story, so that we have a need to exercise our faith and trust in who He is. 

Jacob named this place where they wrestled ‘Peniel’, which means, “I have seen God face to face and my life is preserved”.  He overcame.  His determination to obtain this blessing caused the greatness that was within him to surface, to rise up and conquer.  This DOES NOT paint a picture of how man can beat God.  It DOES NOT portray God being weak.  This story of Jacob wrestling all night with God and “winning” in the end is a beautiful illustration of passion, of heart, of determination and shows God’s desire to interact intimately with us.  Will we answer? 

One thing that cannot be forgotten in this story is how Jacob was forever changed…physically.  His hip was dislocated while wrestling with God. The pain from a dislocation is momentary, but the effects of a dislocation can potentially be life-long.  I believe this kept him humble.  He encountered God in an intimate way and was never the same again.  It changed him.

After this encounter it was time to move on; sunrise was approaching.  Jacob crossed over Peniel and THE SUN ROSE ON HIM.  Though this was in the physical, it is very much spiritual as well.  It was the dawning of a new day, a new season, a new time for him.  Jacob wrestled with God and his character was shaped from that point on, forever.  When we make the choice to connect with God on an intimate level, when we choose to get up close and personal, when we desire to wrestle with God…we never walk away unchanged.  How hungry are you?  “When God allows or even invites us to wrestle with Him, His constant goal is to make us overcomers. Even when God appears to be against us, He is for us (Beth Moore)." 

 

Convenience Vs. Relationship

As humans, but furthermore, as Americans, we desire convenience at our fingertips.  We want everything to be easy and stress-free.  We have multiple different kinds of deodorants, cereals, shampoos/conditioners and the list goes on.  We have drive-thrus in case we want to grab a quick bite to eat.  And get this, nowadays if you are running low on cigarettes, don’t you worry; you can drive-thru for those as well.

The more time goes on, the more convenient life gets.  More accurately stated, the more time goes on, the lazier we get as human beings.  What do you think?  Now, how exactly does this developing way of life affect us as Christians?  How does the disease of convenience begin to infect our walk with God?  Is there a vast contrast between the way people back in the bible days walked with God and how we do now 2,000 years later? 

If I may, I want to share some thoughts on this topic.  I, with my whole heart, believe that this convenient way of life greatly affects our walk of faith.  I believe that society today wants everything to be immediate, self-gratification at the snap of a finger.  If we have a need, we fill it right then and there, period.  So, how are we as Christians plagued by this weakness?  We find other things in the world to fill a hole that only God can fill- idolatry.  Furthermore, there is an impatience planted deep within us that says to God, “I want this…” or “I need this…” and “…if I don’t get it by the end of this prayer, or by the end of the day, You aren’t as big as You say You are.”   

I have found this to be true in my life.  I feed off the immediate happenings of life.  If I’m having a good day or if I made a lot of money at work (serving tables), then God and I are on a good page.  That’s not when my faith is tested though.  My walk of faith is tested when I go into work and walk out with $12 dollars.  My walk of faith is tested when I hear of some outrageously negative thing done to someone I love.  My walk of faith is tested when injustice is served to me on a shiny platter and I’m expected to partake of it willingly, but I assure you… I WILL NOT!  These are the times when I find out where God and I stand together.  These are the times when I discover if I’m holding God’s hand or if I’m hand in hand with the world. 

Back to square one.  Paul tells us in the New Testament to continually work out our salvation.  Walking with God is a process, it takes time, it takes energy, it takes muscle…we must flex to stand and to stay face to face with God.  Therefore, these convenient days we live in often cause us to grow weary of walking with God simply because, like any other relationship though slightly different because we cannot literally see God, it takes time and energy.  Simple as that.

Have you ever spent one full day, or better yet, one full week with NO TV, NO radio, and no form of media (books, magazines, etc) whatsoever?  If so, I believe it’s comparable to how the people lived back in bible times.  I often wonder why people back then were able to hear God more clearly than people seem to hear God nowadays, or at least clearer than I hear God the majority of the time.  Is it because there were less distractions and not as many things fighting to steal their time and attention?  You can answer that for yourself.

Now knowing that convenience is the disease of this age…what do we do?  We keep first things first and always make sure that we keep our first love our first love- Jesus.  No, it’s not so easy at times to walk with God hand in hand, but it’s so worth it.  It’s all about perspective.  We must not be so focused on the struggles and pain that we feel here and now that we forget what we are fighting for- a genuine relationship based out of love for the One who created us. 

“Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God (Hebrews 12:2).” 

I don’t know what else to say, but I know that all the pain, struggles, confusion, time, energy, patience, questions, etc… everything that arises in our everyday walk with God is worth it so that we can stand face to face with the One, the ONLY one, that completes us.           

Humility...A Key To "More"

I have this indescribable hunger for God within me.  I want to be with Him, I want to walk with Him, I want to talk to Him, I want to listen to Him, be challenged by Him...KNOW HIM.  It's like I can't sit still.  Everything within me shakes for something that I do not have yet.  I want it; I need it. I know it's out there somewhere waiting to be tapped into.  I know I haven't even tasted of the very thing I'm living to grab ahold of.  I can't quite name it, but if I had to name it...I would call it "MORE".  I'm willing to dedicate my whole life to finding out what "more" is.  It's out there, I know it, and I'm going to get it! 

I just read one chapter in Andrew Murray's book "Humility" and I feel so stirred.  I'm stirred for more humility.  It intrigues me greatly and this is one thing I'm desperate for...it's part of "more".  I feel as if humility is one major thing that the church today is lacking.  We are self-sufficient, independent, and hardly desperate.  

In the particular chapter that I was reading Andrew Murray gave the illustration of how water falls down and resides in the lowest place it can reach.  "Just as water ever seeks and fills the lowest place, so the moment God finds the creature abased and empty, His glory and power flow in to exalt and to bless."  Therefore, we must reside and abide in the lowest place and remain fully immersed in the water so that His glory may be shown. 

With such a powerful illustration and anointed word, I believe, comes a significant weight to carry and a responsibility to walk out the message given.  It's almost as if the more we walk in pride, the more we emerge out of the water, and the more that happens, the more confused we get- disillusioned and deceived.  Oxygen is to our flesh as water is to our spirit, in a way. 

With this revelation that God has given me, I almost feel as if He's told me the world's/church's biggest secret.  He wants to glorify and be glorified in the lowest of people- the most humble.  When I finished the chapter, I started listening to some worship music and heard the lyrics "Glory, Glory, Send Your Glory" and was, I guess, broken and convicted all at the same time.  How can we beg for Him to send His glory when we are saturated with pride? 

Overall, I feel like people think that things like humility are just byproducts of His glory filling us.  Though that is the case to a certain extent, I want to step out on a limb, provoke some thoughts, and suggest another theory.  I'm not quite sure yet, but I dare to think that we must be in the right place, HUMBLE, in order to properly receive more of His glory.  I'm more than open to being wrong, but I'm willing to risk being right.  Yes, it is a risk because if indeed I am right, then God and I have a lot of work to do in order for me to become like Him... The Servant Of All... HUMBLE. 

"And let us believe that what He shows, He gives; what He is, He imparts.  As the meek and lowly One, He will come in and dwell in the longing heart." (Andrew Murray)          

Who Am I?

I have found that my walk with God is a cycle of breakthroughs.  This means that there is undoubtedly struggles involved along the way.  We experience our "highs" and "lows" throughout this unending cycle.  The breaking point is what creates what we Christians call a "breakthrough."  It is that very moment in time that something shifts and after hours, days, weeks, months, and sometimes even years that specific thing we were fighting for FINALLY resolves.  It is truly such an amazing feeling and is something that we should definitely never cease to contend for.  

All this to say, there are times in our lives that we just "hit a wall."  When this happens, what do we do?  How do we handle it?  Where do we go from there?  How, when standing before a wall, do you walk through it?  How do you knock it down, IF it is even meant to be demolished?  Walking around it almost seems foolish and cowardly.  So...what do we do?

All I can think of is to WAIT and PRAY that one morning when you wake up and open your eyes, it is just gone- disappeared.  How?  I do not know how, but I DO know that God LOVES making the impossible possible.  

We, as humans, can walk around a wall, we can scale walls, we can blast a hole in them and walk through them, and we can even break them apart and walk across the rubble, but one thing we CANNOT do is make a huge, thick, durable, heavy, strong wall disappear into thin air where the breaths that we FREELY draw are just memories/testimonies of what once was holding us back and now becomes our source of life shaping who we are today and what/who we can become tomorrow.  

Throughout cycles/processes like these, I have periodically had to ask myself one question:  Who Am I?  It seems simple, but it is not.  These three words challenge my character and cause me to give account of how much like Christ I am.  At each moment I seem to learn something else about myself that I did not know before.  

So, who am I?  I am a child of God that is scared to death of fully trusting her father (God).  Who am I?  I am a daughter of the King that doubts more than she believes- around every corner.  Who am I?  I am Jesus' beloved whom has yet to discover her true identity apart from her struggles.  The list can go on and on. 

After learning all these things, what now am I left with?  How can I possibly consider myself to be "Christ-like" to any degree.  Honestly, I cannot answer that question and I do not think I will ever be able to.  God transcends our carnal minds, while the fact remains- we are being transformed glory to glory. 

Where does our focus lie?  Is it on the positives or on the negatives?  I have learned that it cannot be on either of the two.  It must remain on God.  If we focus on the positive- pride follows; on the negative- condemnation; but on God- righteous perspective of who we are and how we see the world.  So, back to those three words; the question that can potentially define creation... WHO AM I?

I am a warrior, a conqueror, a child of God dearly loved by Him, a threat to the enemy- I am a Christian.  I am a "little Christ" (literal translation of "Christian") able to live the very heartbeat of Jesus each day while heaven is behind me cheering me on.  I am a person that can stand in front of a wall, speak the breath of God, then close my eyes only to open them to find a void of the wall that once was and will never be again.  Who am I?  I am an average person that, when gets pissed off enough, can make things disappear with some help from her Dad.  

Sacrifice

As Christians, I feel like we tend to find it hard to believe that we must lay "good things" down so that we can move forward in our lives and grow in the Lord.  We feel that is unbiblical and that all "good things" are to be stored up in our lives forever, and not just a season.  This belief is simply untrue.  God is the giver of all good things, but not all good things are given to us for life.  

Jesus tells us in the gospels that those who lay their lives down will find it.  Our Christian walk requires sacrifice.  No, it's not fun and it never feels good, but we must look down the road, learn how to be farsighted rather than nearsighted, and trust that God knows best.  He will not call us to lay something down for no reason.  There will always be a benefit; ultimately, it'll be for our good, our own growth in Him.   

Basically, I've found in my Christian walk that it's full of blessings unto sacrifices unto more blessings and at every step of the way (when I embrace the step)... growth!  I'm not implying that God is a bully that dangles candy in front of babies, because the reward after the sacrifice is exponentially preferable.  

So, "sacrifice?".... we have to choose how to look at it.  Is it unfair because it doesn't feel good and we're all about immediate comfort and pleasure while ignoring the long-term effects that something may have on our lives?  Or, do we lay our lives down, trusting God fully knowing that He knows best, and choose to see our lives through God's perspective (farsighted)?  That's a question that you can answer for yourself.  I choose the later.  

Family

It's 1:35am Monday morning on April 14th.  Church last night was really good.  After church, we went to a restaurant and chilled there for a bit.  I love being around everyone and just talking and having fun.  It's one of my most favourite things to do EVER. 

God's been showing me the importance of family.  Family is such a biblical symbol of love and God's desire is for everyone to be in that same family of love- his children.  I'm not just talking about "family" as in all Christians/body of Christ, but I'm talking about immediate family.  He's showing me how staying close to the family that you had no choice but to be a part of strengthens and encourages the specific individual (you).  Granted, there are circumstances where your immediate (blood) family may not fit into this mold, but even still... God has or will, if He hasn't already, place you in one!

You could very easily say that I am forced to learn this lesson because of the season of life that I am in- living in AU, halfway across the world from family, friends, and everything familiar.  I will say this though, I CHOOSE to be taught by God how important family is to me.  It's a precious lesson learned and a precious gift thats value should never be forgotten or diminished.